in the fourth grade everyone in my class was awarded a prize. all honors were in the general phrasing of "best at ..." i was eagerly awaiting to hear my win because i wanted the math title and figured i'd be a cinch in ...
but when they came around to my name, you can image my dismay when i was handed "most enthusiastic." this really pissed me off for three reasons:
- it wasn't mathematics.
- my best friend, john verna, did get the math award.
- and worst of all i didn't know what enthusiastic meant -- forcing me a trip to the class dictionary.
i looked up the definition and nearly cronenberged. as blood filled my eyes, i catapulted to miss bishop's desk.
"i can't believe you didn't give me the math award!"
"see? this conversation is exactly why you're the most enthusiastic."
it was the first time in my life that i wanted to both projectile vomit and beat someone to the ground with a blackboard eraser.
it wasn't until i graduated from school and entered the self-centered and asperbergian world of high tech that i realized what a huge honor that was.
even today i list it on my resume under "accomplishments."
with that background -and remembering that i believe people only become more like themselves as they get older- you can only imagine the level of adrenaline running through my blood today when i first laid hands on my SONIC gift card.
stop for a moment and ask yourself this question: if someone offered to buy you ANYTHING on the SONIC menu, anything at all, what would you choose?
I KNOW! it's not that easy is it?
like any good democratic foundation, it seems like the use of my card should fall under two guiding principles which will tend to work slightly against each other.
- i should treat it like it's my own money. meaning i should be frugal as hell.
- i should use this as a chance to experiment on items i'd never normally buy.
i can bleed money out of a turnip and i want to see this card l-a-s-t. BUT (that's my big "but"), i don't think i'll go so far as to not use the card for buying drinks during happy hour.
so striving for some sort of middle ground i'll probably buy some food items combined with smaller drinks ... often at happy hour.
most important here tonight, though, is this is my first use ... whatever i get has to be something good. a shoe-in winner. i don't want to curse my card by speculating on something like a grilled chicken salad that has even the most remote chance of being (as my pal entropy dave says) nastar-nastamos.
and this is first use, so whatever i get has to be splurge-y ... a touch decadent.
drinks are out, because that's way too normal for me. i could go with a smoothie, but as woody allen says about sex in bed, "not here and not now."
i've already eaten enough mozzarella stix for a decade.
the jr. fritos chili cheese wrap is definitely the right idea, but fast food chili is always a coin toss as to how good it is.
i've already had a wheel barrow's worth of sundaes as well, but SONIC ice cream is great for soft serve.
hey wait a minute ...
that's it! SONIC does their equivalent of a blizzard called in that oh-so-creative-let's-copy-our-competition-way a "blast." i had a god awful "special" one on valentine's day, but they do regular ones too. good ones. they've gotta be good. snickers. m&ms. butterfinger.
over-the-counter candy blended into great soft serve. how can you ruin that?
hey wait a minute ...
that's it! SONIC does their equivalent of a blizzard called in that oh-so-creative-let's-copy-our-competition-way a "blast." i had a god awful "special" one on valentine's day, but they do regular ones too. good ones. they've gotta be good. snickers. m&ms. butterfinger.
over-the-counter candy blended into great soft serve. how can you ruin that?
reese's. yes yes yes. reese's peanut butter cup blast. that's it. that's the one.
perfect.
it's been warm today. i've stepped an extra 40 minutes in preparation for whatever overdose i might do tonight. and there's no way this can be bad.
to celebrate, i jump in the car and make a point to go out of my way to a SONIC i haven't been to as part of this 'blog yet ... the one over on warm springs. i've been there a couple of times -- once for free rootbeer float night. the staff are friendly and fast. the neighborhood is a little crazy. i'll take it all in by driving through and then eating on the landing.
and the blast is great. it's exactly what i'd expected. perfect starter on a great gift from the big S.
is it over? hell no.
is it over? hell no.
the SONIC gods smile down on me and hand out a survey receipt as part of the order ... as soon as i finish, i roll back through and ask for something i've never had before -- a route 44 raspberry ice tea with extra lemon. (because it's okay if i go a little crazy now.)
the regular ice tea is better, but i don't care. this one is free.
the regular ice tea is better, but i don't care. this one is free.
now is it over?
could a day like this get any better?
what could possibly happen that would enrich the greatness of today? (remember, i live in a state that has no lottery ... and note too that i've left out details of other parts of the day like when i talked to JJ walker about what the braille says on bank ATMs.)
what could possibly happen that would enrich the greatness of today? (remember, i live in a state that has no lottery ... and note too that i've left out details of other parts of the day like when i talked to JJ walker about what the braille says on bank ATMs.)
how about this ... my pal the robot has just come back from england, bearing my very favorite snack food in the world: hula hoops.
it's okay to kill me now. knowing nothing about the future, i can say, for certain, that my life will never get any better.
thanks SONIC!
(but hey, if you are so smart, did you know that it would take four billion hula hoops to go around the world once? i didn't until i read the back of the bag i was eating out of as i was typing to you. thanks robot!)
No comments:
Post a Comment
PLEASE don't drink your slush as you type.